I am excited that Francis Rico is returning to Songbird in June to talk about aligning with the creative energies at the core of the universe. While I frequently create in this fashion, I am also surprised at how much resistance I have to doing so. There’s much more that I will be able to do when I am ready to step into my full manifestation power.
I resonate with a quote from Marianne Williamson, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?…’”
While my fear of being inadequate has definitely played a big role in my life over the years, it was covering up the deeper fear of being powerful. The inadequacy fear led me to becoming a perfectionist. It led me to worry about making the right decisions and to over-analyze everything. Now that this fear no longer rules my life, I am more aware when I am doing these things. I consciously choose whether my actions are serving me in that moment or whether I want to do something different. Now it is time to clear out the next level of fear.
This process is the first two of the three Toltec Masteries: The Mastery of Awareness and the Mastery of Transformation. The third Mastery is the Mastery of Intent or the Mastery of Love. This is the mastery of alignment with the universe that Francis speaks of. It is what I drew on when I created Songbird and Stones Throw. It’s what I drew on when I found my retreat home in downtown Cotati. However, for Songbird and Stones Throw to be fully successful, I need to step into my power. I need to let go of my fear of being powerful and successful.
One big way I avoid being powerful is spending too much time on my computer. I enjoy Facebook and some of the many fascinating stories and articles that are posted there and other sites I look at. Fun and relaxing downtime is something we all need to get our creative juices get flowing. It helps us be more productive. However, there is a balance between downtime and wasting time or overdoing something. Overdoing my downtime can make me stressed and less productive.
Often I will stay up late on the computer and get behind on my sleep. Sometimes I’ll spend too much time during the day on the computer and get behind on my work. Later when I reflect back on my day, I will realize that I wasn’t spending my time the way I truly wanted. However, even though I say I want to change, I repeat the same pattern over and over again.
My fear of being powerful keeps me in this pattern instead of doing other things that could help me fully step into the power of being all that I can be. I am afraid to be brilliant and fabulous. I am afraid to have the life I want. I often ask myself, “Why me? Who am I to be and do these things?”
The Marianne Williamson quote continues, “Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
My intention is to spend more time in manifestation visualization, meditating with my crystal skulls, and exploring/releasing what holds me back. Last Friday’s Introduction to Shamanism with Sarah Dole reconnected me with my power animals and reminded me that I also want to get back to shamanic journeying. These things will directly help me step into my power. I also intend to find the right balance of downtime and work, both on the computer and in other activities such as reading and playing music.
Take a moment to reflect on your life. Are you spending your time in the way that you want? Are there any immediate actions you can take to shift what you are doing into something more in alignment with your power? Songbird has many offerings to help you shift. Come explore with us this month at one of our Flock Nights, walk-in hours, or other classes to support you to spread your wings and fly.