mirrorAll of our Friday Flock Nights for August turned out to be about relationships so I decided to blog about that this month. The most common use of the word relationship is in connection with people, and the first two Fridays deal with that – our relationships with ourselves and with others. The third Friday is about our relationship with money. At the heart of how you handle any kind of relationship, is your relationship with yourself.

What is your relationship like with yourself? Can you look into your eyes in a mirror and say “I love you” to the image you see? Do you feel it with all your heart? If not, what comes up for you? Do you hear voices saying things like, “No I don’t. I’m too fat. I’m too skinny. I’m old and grey. I’m stupid. I don’t have any friends.  Nobody cares about me. I should be in a relationship. I should be making more money. I should eat healthier. I should have more friends. I should be prettier. I should be smarter. I should lose weight…”

Listen to what comes up when you try to tell yourself this simple phrase. All of these are judgments. A good way to start coming up with your personal list of judgments is to start writing the phrase “I should…” down the left margin of the paper and fill in the blank. When you can let go of your “should” “list and simply be happy, you can make new choices based on love and acceptance for yourself. I choose to lose weight because it makes me happy to be healthier.” “I choose to stay the same weight as I am because I am choosing to focus my attention on other things.” I once made a list of all my “should’s” on strips of paper and burned my “should” pile, just like a wood pile.

When you can turn all of your judgments into choices, then you can have a happy relationship with yourself, with others, with money, with food, and with everything in else in your life. If you need more support in happy relationships, come to one of the great Flock Nights this month, schedule a session with one of our practitioners, or come to one of our other classes. Songbird is here to help.