Lately it seems like I am constantly asking myself the question, “Who are you?” I just opened our gift shop, Stones Throw. Songbird Community Healing Center is having a big five-year anniversary celebration on January 24. The Hands of Gold Clinic is turning ten. Until these things synchronistically happened, I never dreamt that this is what I would be doing with my life. It doesn’t fit with my picture of myself. Do you know who you are? Are you living the life you thought you would be living when you were younger or has your life changed to the point that you no longer recognize yourself?
I was a quiet child who hung out by myself at school and had few very friends. I didn’t want to be noticed. I didn’t want to be remembered. I didn’t want to stand out. As the youngest of five children, I felt I was always in the shadow of my older siblings and thought I was always being compared to them. I struggled to find my own place and to do something that they hadn’t already done. The constant comparison in my mind kept me afraid of doing the wrong thing.
It is because I never wanted to stand out, that I look at myself now and say, “Who am I?” How did I end up creating and running a community healing center using a new model that has never been done before? Is this really me? How did I manage to open up a store on top of this? How did I put myself in a position of being noticed and admired?
Unlike many people whose lives stay fairly steady in their 30’s and 40s, my life took a few turns that completely changed its course. In my late 20’s, after living an extremely healthy life, developing a hyperactive thyroid started me on my journey to learning about alternative health. After serving as my needed wake up call, the thyroid has now gone back to normal. When I moved to Sonoma County several years later and started the Toltec path of don Miguel Ruiz, I shifted more drastically. The me I thought I was, does not like change. If I had remained as that me, I would have stayed married for my entire life, like my parents still are, and not be doing all the things I am now. Like a snake shedding its skin, I had to shed my beliefs about who I am in order to let the new skin emerge.
When you stop letting your beliefs about what is possible rule your life, anything is possible. Are you stuck in an old view of yourself or can you become a phoenix rising from the ashes of an old you to create a new you?
Who you are is never fixed in stone and everyone you meet has a different view of you. If everyone I know was to describe me, each one would describe a different me. My view of me would be different from all of them. All of those “me’s” might not even be recognizable as the same person. So, who am I? Whoever I want to be. Who are you? Whoever you want to be. And you can change that at any moment. In the words of don Miguel Ruiz, “Try something. If you don’t like it. Change it.” It’s that simple.
I hope you’ll join me at Songbird Community Healing Center’s five year anniversary on January 24. We will be celebrating what is possible when we don’t let anything keep from us from creating our dreams.